top of page
Nation Gagged: The Barbara Awakens, 2025
Location: Television Studio on the Federated American Globe, 2024
The first film opens in 2025, in a solar system with two habitable planets—Planet France and the Federated American Globe (the F.A.G.)—and several inhabited moons. The planets orbit a single lavender sun, a mere five sashays apart.
A fabulously androgynous newscaster announces: “F.A.G. stunned as EPA Jr., Minister of Healthiness, explodes on air—and is revealed to be made of sentient Cheetos.”
The feed cuts to EPA Jr. behind his desk, sipping Diet Coke, smugly delivering his purity sermon. His gravelly voice urges Faggots to feed their sons bear semen to shield them from solar winds. He smiles into the camera—then his skull splits open.
From the chrysalis inside his head, Barbara is born: the Warrior Princess of the F.A.G.—a glittering fusion of Barbarella and Xena—radiant as a star, loud as a trumpet. Orange dust floods the studio. The audience screams. The newscaster drops their papers.
Barbara’s first breath rings out: “Truth cannot be contained.” The broadcast flickers. Respectability shatters.
The war begins.
The first film opens in 2025, in a solar system with two habitable planets—Planet France and the Federated American Globe (the F.A.G.)—and several inhabited moons. The planets orbit a single lavender sun, a mere five sashays apart.
A fabulously androgynous newscaster announces: “F.A.G. stunned as EPA Jr., Minister of Healthiness, explodes on air—and is revealed to be made of sentient Cheetos.”
The feed cuts to EPA Jr. behind his desk, sipping Diet Coke, smugly delivering his purity sermon. His gravelly voice urges Faggots to feed their sons bear semen to shield them from solar winds. He smiles into the camera—then his skull splits open.
From the chrysalis inside his head, Barbara is born: the Warrior Princess of the F.A.G.—a glittering fusion of Barbarella and Xena—radiant as a star, loud as a trumpet. Orange dust floods the studio. The audience screams. The newscaster drops their papers.
Barbara’s first breath rings out: “Truth cannot be contained.” The broadcast flickers. Respectability shatters.
The war begins.
The Daddy of the Dunes, 2025
Location: The Daddy Desert, Federated American Globe
To understand the woman who rises from a minister’s head, we return five centuries earlier—to the desert where wind learns to speak.
In 1525, The Daddy—immortal seer of The Daddy Desert on the F.A.G.—foretells the rise of orange overlords and declares that only an alliance with Planet France can save the galaxy from their corruption. A cliff dweller with boyish beauty, a leather codpiece, and a billowing hooded robe, he listens to the wind as if flirting with the cosmos themselves. His metallic facial jewelry glints in the sun; his eyes shimmer like mercury. When called, he is both oracle and warrior, appearing only to the pure of heart and teaching one lesson above all: be who you are—fully, loudly.
He dwells within a vast leather tent at the heart of the desert; its walls painted with prophecies that shimmer in the heat. Inside, he tends to wandering souls—those lost between selves—cradling them in patience and prophecy until they are ready to return to the world. At night, the wind presses against the tent like a lover, carrying his voice across the dunes. The desert will one day bear his name, for those who need him most will hear his sweet whispers riding the wind—half comfort, half command—a reminder that freedom is learned through surrender.
At the dawn of humanity, it is The Daddy who first split the Life—a pulse of raw potential buried beneath the desert sands. The universe’s first act of surrender, it thrums with every possible form of love. When The Daddy divides it, queerkind is born: Achillean and Sapphic Faggots of the F.A.G., bodies shaped by desire and defiance alike. Yet within the Life Seed’s shimmering heart, something remains. In its depths, the Life Seed still holds a third pulse—unawakened, waiting for another hand to divide it again.
His gift is creation; his curse, foresight. He hears the coming of the orange-skinned Cheezmalites—sentient overlords who infect minds through misogyny and disinformation.
To prevent the coming darkness, The Daddy calls for a healed bond with Planet France, their estranged sibling world. Once, the two planets shared a radiant exchange of art, pleasure, and rebellion. But The Daddy sees what lies ahead: France’s hunger will grow. In its quest for dominion and divine favor, it will twist faith into a weapon—declaring queerness a sin to sanctify its own greed. Under banners of purity, France will colonize and strip the F.A.G. of its cosmic resources—art, beauty, humor, invention—mining them to feed its empire.
This conquest culminates in the reign of Louis XIV, the Sun King, whose brilliance is rivaled only by his cruelty. In his radiant court, he masks violence as virtue, launching a campaign to cleanse the universe of Faggots on every planet. The arts bow, desire hides, and queerness burns beneath the crown’s golden glare.
To understand the woman who rises from a minister’s head, we return five centuries earlier—to the desert where wind learns to speak.
In 1525, The Daddy—immortal seer of The Daddy Desert on the F.A.G.—foretells the rise of orange overlords and declares that only an alliance with Planet France can save the galaxy from their corruption. A cliff dweller with boyish beauty, a leather codpiece, and a billowing hooded robe, he listens to the wind as if flirting with the cosmos themselves. His metallic facial jewelry glints in the sun; his eyes shimmer like mercury. When called, he is both oracle and warrior, appearing only to the pure of heart and teaching one lesson above all: be who you are—fully, loudly.
He dwells within a vast leather tent at the heart of the desert; its walls painted with prophecies that shimmer in the heat. Inside, he tends to wandering souls—those lost between selves—cradling them in patience and prophecy until they are ready to return to the world. At night, the wind presses against the tent like a lover, carrying his voice across the dunes. The desert will one day bear his name, for those who need him most will hear his sweet whispers riding the wind—half comfort, half command—a reminder that freedom is learned through surrender.
At the dawn of humanity, it is The Daddy who first split the Life—a pulse of raw potential buried beneath the desert sands. The universe’s first act of surrender, it thrums with every possible form of love. When The Daddy divides it, queerkind is born: Achillean and Sapphic Faggots of the F.A.G., bodies shaped by desire and defiance alike. Yet within the Life Seed’s shimmering heart, something remains. In its depths, the Life Seed still holds a third pulse—unawakened, waiting for another hand to divide it again.
His gift is creation; his curse, foresight. He hears the coming of the orange-skinned Cheezmalites—sentient overlords who infect minds through misogyny and disinformation.
To prevent the coming darkness, The Daddy calls for a healed bond with Planet France, their estranged sibling world. Once, the two planets shared a radiant exchange of art, pleasure, and rebellion. But The Daddy sees what lies ahead: France’s hunger will grow. In its quest for dominion and divine favor, it will twist faith into a weapon—declaring queerness a sin to sanctify its own greed. Under banners of purity, France will colonize and strip the F.A.G. of its cosmic resources—art, beauty, humor, invention—mining them to feed its empire.
This conquest culminates in the reign of Louis XIV, the Sun King, whose brilliance is rivaled only by his cruelty. In his radiant court, he masks violence as virtue, launching a campaign to cleanse the universe of Faggots on every planet. The arts bow, desire hides, and queerness burns beneath the crown’s golden glare.
bottom of page